All's Fair, Part Fifteen: Boom

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(April 1st)


Lucky, before we depart, there is something that you should know.” Ash regarded his friend solemnly. “Clockwork is here. I confronted him earlier.

“Who?” Lucky raised an eyebrow.

Clockwork.” Lucky gave Ash a blank look. “The leader of the Oligarchs.” The look continued. “Your nemesis for basically the entire past year.

“Ohh, that guy.” Lucky waved a hand. “Don't give me that look, it's not like I've ever actually met him. He's around, huh? Good. Let's go.” He started towards the front gate.

You have to be on the platform in ten minutes.” Ash pointed out.

“Plenty of time. I'm kicking that fat ass into next season.” Lucky glared. “He took out Mayfly, he took out Jhim, he took out my car. Dude's going down.”

How do you expect to get near him?” The tree wondered.

“Luck powers. Do the math.” The reply was given carelessly, as Lucky strolled to the front door. He considered it momentarily. “Door, be gone. I need to get through.”

The door obligingly exploded under the assault of a hundred Yocanu blasters. With a smile, Lucky looked back to Ash. “Hold down the fort. I'm going in.” Turning, he strode into the fray. A blaster bolt richocheted off his belt buckle, slamming into a Yocanu soldier and sending him crashing to the ground. Lucky continued to stroll forwards, as the Yocanu froze in surprise. “Oh, hey, guys. Don't mind me. Just going to beat the snot out of your boss.” He waved cheerfully.

The Yocanu leader snarled. “Kill him.” The sky filled with energy.

Lucky yawned.

The ground exploded outwards as water pipes and underground power lines cracked at once, sending arcs of electrified water up and around him. Lightning rain splashed down, creating arcs that filled the air with violence and caused the blaster bolts of the Yocanu to fracture into a killing haze.

Lucky checked his nails for dirt.

The air cleared. Standing perfectly covered by a tilted awning, Lucky resumed walking. Behind him, a hundred Yocanu fell to the ground.

Across the road, he found Clockwork and Warzone, watching him with shock. Clockwork managed to choke out, “Impossible! Who are you?”

“I'm Lucky Lad, man. I'm the goddamn Gary Stu of this whole world.” Lucky cracked his knuckles cheerfully.

“Narrative law is not absolute!” Clockwork was yelling with frustration. “Oh, sure, if it were, you'd be unstoppable, but that?” A hand took in the twitching field of Yocanu. “That is just freaking impossible. And I mean actually, no holds barred, no freaking way.” He crossed his arms. “I refuse to believe it.”

“Fine by me.” Lucky stepped forwards, and slapped Clockwork across the face. “How about now?”

“Oooooh!” Clockwork's face turned beet red. A moment later, he clutched at his heart in shock. “Aaah! Aaah!” Tilting, he collapsed.

Lucky and Warzone stared at him for a moment. Then, laconically, Warzone said “Hm. Heart attack.”

“Oops.” Lucky winced. “Is he, uh…?”

“Dead? Very.” Warzone shrugged, an impressive feat in his heavy armor. “Well, that's that. No more Oligarchs.”

“You don't sound very upset.”

“True. That's because this was my plan all along.” With an evil laugh, Warzone removed his helmet… and shadows spilled over the room, concealing his face. “You see, I am not actually Warzone. I am truly the nefarious Rex Mundi! Mwahahah! And now that the Oligarchs are defeated, none can stop my true plan to conquer the Earth!”

Lucky gaped. “Impossible! Ash, grab him!”

Leaping from the shadows, several trees wrapped their arms around Rex Mundi's armor. Lucky stepped forwards. “Ahah! You fell right into our trap, Mundi! We're making a clean sweep of it!”

“Nooooooo! Foiled by the simplest of traps – the basic ambush!” Rex Mundi wailed. “I will never live down the shame!” Promptly, his head exploded. Ash released the body, nonplussed, as it fell smoking to the ground.

Hm. It seems pride was his downfall after all.” Ash nodded with satisfaction. “I should never have doubted you, Lucky. You have saved us all. But now what do we do?

“Hmm…” Lucky considered, and then grinned. “Dance party!”

Fireworks lit the sky, as music filled the air. Ash nodded again. “Brilliant!

And seeing the marvels of their dancing, the Varrn gave up and joined in. Soon, everyone was dancing. And it was beautiful, and the fireworks were everywhere. Lucky laughed. “Take that, plot! No one can stand against me!”

“I agree.” Turning in surprise, Lucky saw Shion standing next to him, wearing her old Candycane uniform. Behind her were his other friends, recovered from the battle of earlier in the day. Even Nadia was in the background, next to a beaming Dudeman and Nightlord. “The SEA brought reinforcements, but I see we weren't needed. You're amazing, Lucky, and you saved us all. Kiss me, you great hero!”

And as they kissed, and the fireworks detonated overhead, everything was perfect. Lucky sighed as the kiss broke. “We'll still have to deal with Dr Ecchs.”

“I know you can do it, Lucky. There will always be darkness in the world, but the Champions can beat it!” Shion grinned broadly, and Lucky met her grin with one of his own.

“High five!” He said, and Shion and Ash, and Timebender and Jhim and Nadia all joined in. “Patchwork Champions forever!”


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